Husband and wife jokes | my wife, my husband

Husband and wife jokes | my wife, my husband: Are you looking for knock knock jokes dirty  for sharing then we say you are in the right place. Here we have an amazing collection of funny sexual jokes. Also, note all the below collection on funny anniversary quotes were free to copy, now let’s directly jump into the article and enjoy.

Husband and wife jokes | my wife, my husband

Husband and wife jokes

My wife told me she needs more space. I said no problem and locked her out of the house.

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your butt is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband. Husband and wife jokes

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

My son wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your butt is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”

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funny anniversary quotes

  1. A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad I chose my cellmate wisely.
  2. Sometimes I look at you and I just can’t help but feel happy for you. After all, you married the world’s most beautiful and brilliant woman. Happy anniversary, dearest husband!
  3. Well, we made it another year without one of us either ending up dead or in jail.
    I call that a win.
    Happy Anniversary.
  4. Holy crap. We’re still married? You’re still my husband? Happy anniversary, I guess. I love you!
  5. Love means commitment.
    Of course, so do most mental illnesses!
    Wishing you a Happy Anniversary. Husband and wife jokes
  6. Marriage is a relationship between two people in love where the other is always right and the other is called a husband.
  7. Congratulations on another anniversary that proves that you are blessed with each other.
  8. I’ve been really crazy and out of control. I sometimes act like a fool and like a child. I’m really wondering why you’re still married to me. Probably because we’re so much alike! I love you! Happy anniversary.
  9. The longer you’re with someone the more you rub off on each other. So I don’t expect that at this point there is much of you left as individuals.
  10. I thought I’ll collapse,
    Imagine, it’s been another year since we last celebrate the day our suffering, errr loving, starts!
    We must really in love with each other, don’t you think?
    Happy Anniversary!
  11. There is one place I would love to go for our anniversary that I feel we don’t go to enough throughout the year. The bedroom!
  12. Baby, even though you call me in the middle of the day just to tell me how much you pooped that morning, and how much your burp smells like tacos, I’m still hopelessly in love with you and all that you are. Happy anniversary!
  13. If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it again. This time, do it just like the way your wife told you to!

Funny Urdu Husband & Wife Jokes SMS in English Writing

  • Ek admi susral gaya.saas ne pocha:keun beta khane mein kaddu shareef pka lein?damad:mein gunha gar bnda hon’kaddu shareef k qabil kahan koi be-gherat sa murgh paka lein.
  • Biwi se zindagi banti hai jannat bhi jahannum bhi’ye shadi apni fitrat mein na mari hai na changi hai.
  • Aaqal mand admi jab koi eham fesla karta hai tu bohat sochta hai dil aur dimagh ki suntan hai halat ko parakhta hai dalel ko zere ghor lata hai positive aur negative points dekhta hai apne waleden aur behan bhaiyon se rae leta hai aur akhir mein karta wohe hai jo uss ki BIWI kehti hai.
  • Shoher:tumhai roz roz ki fermaishon se tng a gaya hon iss liye khudkushi karne jar aha hon.biwi:2,3 safeed suit tu la dein iddat mein kia pehno gi.
  • Saas ne apni bahu se kaha aj tu bohat raat ho gai tumhara shoher abhe tak nahe aaya lagta haik woh kisi dosri aurat k pas chala gaya.bahu ne jawab diya’amma kabhe tu achi baat kar liya karo ye bhi tu ho sakta hai k woh kisi truck k neche a k mar khap gaya ho.
  • If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
    half the divorces won’t take place..On the other hand,If women behave before marriage the way they do after it,
    half the marriages won’t take place 😉
  • Shohar (husband) ne chewing-gum khareed ke biwi (wife) ko dee…Biwi: aap ne kiun nahin li?..Shohar: main tou waise bhi khamosh reh sakta hon
  • Ek admi sardar jee se:ap ko kabhe kisi se pyar hoa? sardar jee:han yar per woh manti he nahe.admi: kia kehti hai?sardar jee: kehti hai I love u 2.pta nahe ye dusra kamina kon hai.

Husband and wife jokes | my wife, my husband

Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi

  1. प्रभु यह क्या मोह माया है?
    अपना बच्चा रोये तो दिल में दर्द होता है ….. और दूसरे का रोये तो सर में!! !!
    अपनी बीवी रोये तो सर में दर्द होता है…… और दूसरे की रोये तो दिल में💘😜😝
    सब प्रभु की माया है 😊😉😂😉
  2. मुझे किसी ने सलाह दी की बीवी से बहस में नहीं जीता जा सकता इसलिए बस मुस्कुरा दिया करो मैंने भी कोशिश की 😏😏बीवी : बहुत हंसी आ रही है आजकल तुम्हे ? लगता है तुम्हारा भूत उतारना ही पड़ेगा 😁😁😁
  3. जब लड़की अपने, पिता के घर होती है,” रानी ” बन कर रहती है…..पहली बार ससुराल जाती है,” लक्ष्मी “,बनकर जाती है…….और ससुराल में काम कऱते-करते ” बाई ” बन जाती है…… इस तरह लड़कियाँ “रानी-लक्ष्मी-बाई” बन जाती है…!!!और फिर वो पति को अंग्रेज समझ कर बिना तलवार के ही इतना परेशान कर देती है कि😝💃😝💃 बेचारा पति, अंग्रेज न हो कर भी “अंग्रेजी” 🥃🥃 लेना शुरू कर देता है 😜😉😂😜😜
  4. kit-kit ki aavaaz aa rahi thi.,
    Patni: dekho ji, choohe kapade kutar rahe hain.,
    Pati (kaampate hue): saari rajai jo tune kheench li,
    mere hi daant kitakita rahe hain.
    winter sardi rajai special pati patni chutkule

  5. Chunav Lad Rahi Mahila Se
    Reporter Ne Pucha-
    Apko Chunav Ladne Ka
    Khayal Kaise Aya
    Lady- Jab B Me Apne Pati Se Ladti Hu To Jeet Meri Hi Hoti Hai Husband and wife jokes

  6. Patni sali se bolti haiSali : Didi maine kai jija ji ke pant me comdom dekha..Patni : Tune chuwa to nahi na ..Sali : Maine to Usme Ched Kar diya..

    Patni : Marawa diya tune to pagli kal raat ko

  7. Aaj ka Hindi Gyaan:
    Air Hostess Havai Sundari
    Nurse Davai Sundari
    Lady Teacher Padhai Sundari
    Naukaraani Saphai Sundari
    kisi ne joda
    Patni Ladai Sundari!

Finally Words:

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